All It took was One Perverted Brat
by FictionPadfoot
Summary: Just a quick little scenario written for the ZoNami tumblr event challenge: Jealously! Summary: When Nami and Robin decide that Monosuke would sleep in their bed tonight, the cook and the samurai aren't the only ones fuming...a certain marimo isn't to fond of the idea either.


**All it Took was One Perverted Brat…**

 **(A/N): Just a quick little scenario**

 **written for the ZoNami tumblr event challenge:** **Jealously** **!**

 **Rating: T mild swearing**

 **Words: 1.5k**

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If the kid didn't stop shoving his nose in between her breasts, he was going to make sure it was the first thing he cut off when he got his hands on him. Although the swordsman respected the status samurais upheld, the little, perverted brat in Nami's arms threw every admiration he had for the child and his guardian out the window.

Did he outwardly display his frustration? Of course not, he'd rather die by Luffy's dreaded cooking than admit it that he was…

The swordsman took another healthy swing of his alcohol and violently shook his head; nope, he wasn't going to say it, he'd cut his own tongue off before he acknowledged that disgusting sensation rumbling in his chest.

Caveman instincts warred with pride as Zoro all but clenched his fists and shot daggers at the grass growing on the Sunny's lawn; he was more than ready to hurl the empty bottle onto the ground just to see the glass shatter apart. They had just barely left Punk Hazard when Robin insisted that Monosuke clean up with her leaving Sanji, Brook and Kinemon writhing in anger.

He frankly didn't care much for it, even when the historian had stepped out of the steam wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around her and the little brat in her arms. He didn't even bother to look even when Nami had soundly scolded the men for acting like children.

However, he did turn around when he heard the pipsqueak pull out the kicked puppy act and turned around in time to see the little monster's face squished between Nami's breasts.

It was only when he heard her invite the little terror to sleep in the women's quarters did the swordsman grit his teeth and stormed into the men's room, hoping to knock himself out before he did something stupid…like throw the brat off the ship.

He slept…sort of, more like he woke up halfway into the middle of the night to sulk and fume. It was only when he poked his head out with every intention of ripping the kid from her arms when he noticed Sanji and Kinemon sitting on a table wide awake. It was easy to read the anger and envy in their eyes as they stared fixatedly at the closed door to the women's quarters and muttered to each other. Zoro shook his head: if a cook with a gushing nosebleed wasn't enough, they had to throw in a perverted samurai to top it off.

Wait. The man froze in place for a second when a mortifying thought hit him.

He hated that the brat was currently sleeping in the warm arms of a certain ginger. Absolutely detested the idea of someone taking the place of what was rightfully his to begin with.

Did that make him…a pervert too?

His hand automatically raised and Zoro slapped himself hard before he could fully process the thought.

The urge to grab the kid and drag him out of the women's quarters by the ear rose up another few notches till it nearly became unbearable.

With a tortured groan of frustration, Zoro grabbed one of his swords and with his hands clenching tightly onto the handle of his sword, swung off the bed and stalked toward the door. With his breath held back, the swordsman nonchalantly strolled out of the door and pretended to head up the stairs. On the sides of Sunny's body, Franky had built windows on both the men and women's bedrooms. That was Zoro's aim the second he reached the top of the Sunny.

He knew the shipwright had been meaning to install a lock and a sturdier screen on all of the windows but hadn't gotten around to doing it. All he had to do was wedge his fingers into the thin gaps between the end of the scream and with a bit of strength and wiggling, pull the slide back. He knew Nami had recently bought new curtains for their window but he wasn't sure if she had already set them up. If she had, perhaps he could further hide himself behind them and use them to check if the stupid brat was sleeping where he shouldn't be.

Standing just behind the bars, Zoro gripped the ledge and hesitated; why was he going so far just to grab some snotty nosed kid? He should've lugged his stubborn ass up to the crow nest and work himself to exhaustion; that would've been more apt.

Yet the foolish organ beating in his chest refused to relent, further pissing him off as Zoro, with a muttered curse grabbed the smooth banister, swung himself over and silently lowered himself down to the window. With his other hand, the swordsman stuck his first four fingers into the gap and tugged.

Hard.

The lock broke with a snap and the man froze when he heard the broken metal fall off the window and bounce onto the floor with a clink.

He held his breath and counted.

One. Two. Three.

The screen slid back with an inaudible hiss and Zoro gingerly pushed back the curtain with two fingers.

Silence.

He peeked into the room and nearly blew his top off.

Robin had rolled some ways over to the wall, her head turned away from the window and Nami and her arm flung over Monosuke, her hand resting on top of the kid's chest.

That was unacceptable.

He swung into the room in less than a second, the balls of his feet landed soundlessly onto the wooden floor and Zoro crouched beneath the shadows. The strong scent of tangerine mixed with ink and paper filled the air and the swordsman inhaled, his tense muscles instantly relaxed as he bathe in the smell before a mumbled groan pulled him from his senses.

The brat had rolled in his sleep into the navigator's outstretched arms and curled into the warmth of her breasts and neck. Something pricked his temper and Zoro growled under his breath as he on hands and knees, stalked over to the very thing he wanted to drag out the door.

There the little pervert slept, sprawled closer than he would've like near Nami's own slumbering body. In that defenseless state, a thousand ways to make the kid disappear ran through the man's head before his eyes fell upon the nape of the navigator's neck. The unblemished skin had his body tense in anticipation as Zoro with a muffled groan, balanced his body over the ginger haired woman and pressed his nose against her skin. He inhaled and fought the overwhelming urge to grab her and kidnap her out of her bed so that they could have more privacy elsewhere. He could already imagine what he'd do to justify his own hunger and nearly bent to his own fantasy when Nami mumbled something unintelligible and Zoro froze his mouth still on her neck.

The woman groaned and shifted her body ever so slightly to the side, exposing herself as she searched for a more comfortable position. When the brat whined through his nose and rolled over till he was dangerously close to shoving his head for the second time into Nami's breasts, he had enough. With the blunt sheathe of his sword, the man reached out, hooked the tip around the back of the kid's shirt and all but flipped him over till he laid eagle spread back in the middle.

Slightly appeased, the man replaced his sword back by his side and reached out to gingerly tug the thick lock of hair gathered and held together by a band over to him. He buried his nose into the silky texture and muffled a sleepy groan, already itching to grab for more. For the next few hours, he kept his face planted into her hair, breathing her in till he was unable to move his stiff legs. The first rays of dawn barely kissed the edges of the horizon when he shot up with a huff of alarm.

Nothing woke him up. Nothing _ever_ woke the swordsman up save for a hefty punch to the face.

However, he didn't receive one this time. He didn't know what caused him to jolt up so quickly but the man could thank his lucky stars because the women in the room were beginning to stir.

That meant he had to get out. Fast.

A stream of curses under his breath, the man was on his feet in an instant, his body shifting into panic mode as Nami groaned and turned her head. The man all but scrambled onto his feet and took off for the window, his fingers hastily gripped the ledges and he swung himself out so fast he nearly smacked his head onto the upper ledge. The man contorted his body up and for a second, he hung suspended in the air till his legs hooked up onto the Sunny's fence and he was gone in an instant.

Just as he slipped out he heard Nami mutter,

"I don't remember any of us drinking last night."

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 **Playlist**

 **Lullaby ~ Niykee Heaton**

 **Welcome to the Show ~ Adam Lambert**


End file.
